I'm not gonna make it

Just ignore the title if you don't understand. Last Friday, something strange happened to me. I don't know what was it. Until today I feel it. I can't ignore the feeling. Deep inside, I felt that something bad is going to happen. I really don't know what to do except being alone and think about it again and again. Maybe I think too much. Hmm... Somethings fishy. Maybe it's just my feelings. Anyway, I helped my beloved sports house (TREACHER) to decorate our house. It rained heavily. I was shocked to see our school field "banjir". Nevertheless, we kept going. We put up some of our stuffs there. Here are some pictures...




This was the "banjir" that I'm talking about.


I did enjoyed doing those things on that day but still something tells me that I should think of something. It's a crazy day as I went back at 9.15 pm. After I've finished helping everyone, I sat alone at one corner to think of what has been happening to me...



Then I changed place...

And again...

But still, something was bothering me. I couldn't help myself. All I know was, something was bothering me but I don't know what was it. Owh, before that, I went a took a pictures of me...







Still, there's no end results. Hmm, maybe I think too much on something. God, please help me. I'm weak, it's true. After all, I am your servant. I can't do much. After all these craziness, I went back home with Aqram and his little brother...




Before I forget...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER!!! Though I can't celebrate with you that day, I just want you to know, you are special to me. Every year on the 27th of March, It's a special date for me. I've always loved you and always will. Don't bother bout what other "makcik" said about me, you'll always be in my heart. Don't ever give a damn bout what they say about me. You should know me better. I am your son, your prince and your everything. You are my life. You are my heartbeat. You are my everything. Though I've always went against your will, you should know that I LOVE YOU!!! I'm like this because of you. You raised me up to be the man I am today. Once you said to me, "Ares ni tak sayang mama la.". I tell you one thing, never in my life I say that nor think like that. It's just your feelings. You think I never love you but the fact is I LOVE YOU!!! "Ares sayang mama!!!" (The picture above is not a picture of me celebrating my mum's birthday. It was in 2007 we celebrated Hari Polis).




I feel lonely right now plus my right eye still hurts. Damn, I need painkillers. But I know it's not good for me because my life doesn't depends on painkillers. I believe that somehow, I will know what's the problem that bothers me. There's a saying, "go through your troubles with a smile". I intend to do just that. I believe that god is helping me all the way with many kind of methods. I just have to be patient and accept everything that will happen in the future. Adios...